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On remembering dads…

June 21, 2009
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Today, the entire world is commemorating this special day for very special persons in our lives. I have always wondered how days like Father’s Day  got officially celebrated in the first place. As usual, I googled my way to know who thought of this brilliant idea to allot a special day for all the dads in the world. And here is what I’ve found from wikipedia.com:

Father’s Day is a day honoring fathers, celebrated on the third Sunday of June in 52 of the world’s countries and on other days elsewhere. It complements Mother’s Day, the celebration honoring mothers.

Father’s Day is a celebration inaugurated in the early twentieth century to complement Mother’s Day in celebrating fatherhood and male parenting, and to honour and commemorate fathers and forefathers. Father’s Day is celebrated on a variety of dates worldwide and typically involves gift-giving, special dinners to fathers, and family-oriented activities.

The first observance of Father’s Day is believed to have been held on July 5, 1908 in a church located in Fairmont, West Virginia, by Dr. Robert Webb of West Virginia at the Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church South of Fairmont. The church still exists under the name of Central United Methodist Church.

Sonora Smart Dodd of Washington thought independently of the holiday one Sunday in 1909 while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon at the Central Methodist Episcopal Church at Spokane, and she arranged a tribute for her father on June 19, 1910. She was the first to solicit the idea of having an official Father’s Day observance to honor all fathers.

I seldom mention my dad in my entries as he is no longer with me and my mom. But my dad’s memories continue to linger on inside my heart every single day. In my hundreds of blog entries, I have only done 2 entries for my late dad: one was a birthday entry in 2007 and the other one was a death anniversary entry in 2008. To help you from back-reading, I decided to re-post my 2007 entry and share to you the first-ever post I have ever written for Tatay.

Most of you might have noticed that I rarely talk about my father. My Mom has been mentioned a million times already in most of my blogs while my Dad was mentioned only once. The question “Where is your dad?” only arises during the early stages of friendship, initial conversations or in the course of job interviews. And once I briefly answered that question, I would never hear anyone ask about my Dad anymore. I completely understand though since it’s hard to talk about someone who’s been gone for almost 2 decades now.

Just a brief backgrounder, Tatay, as I fondly call my father, died in 1990… oh well, he was killed in the morning of December 26, 1990. I can almost see your faces in total shock wanting to know why and how Tatay was murdered. Well, that’s a long story and I don’t want to write down the details of that unpleasant incident. Besides, we’ve already claimed justice to the case. (Tama ba ang pagkaka-English ko dito? Hehehe!)

I am a self-proclaimed “Daddy’s Girl”. Mommy used to tell me that Tatay seriously engaged himself in a novena devotion to St. Jude when I was still in her womb. Tatay ardently prayed for a baby girl… well, little did he know that his baby girl grew up to be a macho girl! Hahaha!

Tatay and I were extremely close. We shared lots of fun moments together. We were the best of friends before I became real close to my Mom (I think I mentioned this in one of my blogs already). Tatay was my official buddy, my fulltime barkada. We liked hanging out together… from having a wholeday Ramon-Revilla-or-FPJ TV marathon to doing our regular going-to-relatives-in-Marikina Sundays. I still remember the days when I would always trick Tatay and pretend to be sleeping on our way home from Marikina. He would then carry my as we traced the Coca-cola Plant passage in Otis… pero alam naman pala ni Tatay na nagtutulug-tulugan lang ako! Hehehe! Those were my fondest moments with Tatay.

When I was 9, Tatay got a bit worried of the new state that I was about to enter. Together with Mommy, they talked to me about the yucky love stuff. They both encouraged me to be candid about any feelings or emotions I might have for the opposite sex. In short, Tatay and Mommy wanted the three of us to have an open communication line on things about love and relationships. Well, too bad, Tatay was not able to experience it as I was only 14 years old when he died... wala pa yata akong kamuang-muang sa pag-ibig at that time! I have some crushes on the side though! Hehehe!

My highschool moments with Tatay were both fun and ‘nakakaasar’. I studied in Special Science along Nagtahan in Sampaloc. Whenever Tatay would offer me ‘hatid’ to school, I would always frown and hope that he’s not serious. Tatay’s ‘hatid’ offer meant that we’ll have our walk-at-Nagtahan-Bridge bonding moments. So, ‘pag dating ko sa school eh pawis-pawisan na ang beauty ko! And what’s even worse is some classmates would tell me, “Uy, nakita ko kayo ng Tatay mo kanina, naglalakad sa Nagtahan.” Aaarrrggghhhh! Kaasar di bah?!

I’m glad though that Tatay was not a strict father in terms of school activities. Tatay would always allow me to attend those late night parties so I never missed a single party in school. The downside though is that he set a curfew time of nine o’clock. Imagine that?! Eh kasagsagan pa lang ng sayawan nun, noh?! And here’s the funny part, Tatay would always pick me up at exactly 9pm. Yung tipong I’m in the middle of a ’sweet’ dance, and there goes the PA saying, “Calling Ms. Francia Argamaso, your father is waiting at the lobby!” Three times pang uulit-ulitin yan, hah?! Each and every party I went to eh ganyan ang scenario! Aaaarrrrggggghhhhh uli! Kaasar talaga!

Those were some of my ‘kaasar’ moments with Tatay. But now, those ‘kaasar’ moments simply make me smile.

Despite Tatay’s machismo image and strong dispositions, I felt he was a bit insecure. He never had a regular employment after the construction company he worked for closed down in 1987. He then worked on an irregular and per project basis. There were lots of low moments in our family life but I saw him tried his very best to provide for us. Together with Mommy’s dressmaking stint and my aunt’s (actually my cousin’s) financial support, we were able to get through a very simple life. I remember this one time when we had to meet up with my aunt at So-en’s Store along Araneta Avenue in QC for some Christmas shopping. He told me, “Dito na lang tayo sa labas. Nakakahiya eh! Wala naman tayong pera para pumasok dyan!” I wanted to reply back, “Tay, okay lang yun! Wala naman pong bayad ang umupo sa loob at mag-window shopping!” I was very young then, it didn’t occur to me that he was somehow insecure and ashamed of our status in life. And when I think about it now, I feel so sad for Tatay. But there was nothing I could do back then.

I also feel sad for this one thing that Tatay begged for us… an old refrigerator from his sister. He wasn’t able to get that old ref because that thing was replaced long after he died. So when I started working in 1995, the first thing I bought with my first Christmas paycheck was a refrigerator… a long-due gift for Tatay! Again, too bad, he wasn’t able to experience having one in the house.

I am still not as successful as other people I know. But I think, if Tatay is alive today, he would somehow be proud of what I have accomplished. I may have not fulfilled his dream of me being an international flight stewardess (I tried applying though but I’m a bit short on the height requirement) but I know deep in my heart, Tatay is darn proud of what I have become.

To Tatay, I thank you for everything. I know how you wanted to give us a better life, but for some valid reasons, you cannot just grab any opportunity that came your way. Mommy and I truly understood your dilemma. We love you for who you are. We may not have experienced being together for quite a long time, but those 14 years were more than enough to feel your love for me and Mommy. You are always in my prayers and I always ask God to continuously keep you in His loving arms. May the good Lord bless your soul. I truly miss and love you, ‘Tay!

And since digicam is not yet an in-thing during Tatay’s time, we don’t have much pics together. This is the only pic I have in my file:

I’d also want to extend my greetings to all the dads out there as well as to the dearest dads of my equally-single friends.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

27 Comments leave one →
  1. June 21, 2009 4:15 am

    That was a very touching post…I’m sure your father is very proud of what you have accomplished not just for yourself but for your family as well.

    On a slightly grim note (depending on how you see things), death is such a complex thing (as complex as love). It takes away the people you love long before you are through loving them and yet that taking away also gives you a reason not to fear death because you know that someone is wating on the other side for you

    I’m not sure if they celebrate Father’s Day in heaven but just the same, Happy Father’s Day to your Dad. :)

    (saglit, hinde ko pala blog ‘to…makakalimutin ako minsan)

    naligaw na naman ako… kala ko kofistains.blogspot ito! hahaha!

    thanks rhona. well, i really hope he is proud of me. i really miss my dad.

  2. June 21, 2009 4:46 am

    tama si ate rhona..alam nya kahit na nandun sya sa paraiso ni bro eh proud na proud sya sayo at kay mommy..

    kung mababasa lang nya tong entry mo ate malamang pati sya matawa..at syempre baka mapaiyak pa..but eneway..

    ang cute ng little girl na yan sa pic..ay sory ikaw pala yan ate hehe..only girl ni daddy..kaya ung mga asar moments mo eh ok lang dahil syempre..ikaw lang at si mommy ang girl sa buhay nya..ayt..

    hugs..

    thankies din, lovely. sayang nga, yan lang ang pic ko with him. if he were alive today, malamang sandamakmak ang pictures namin together :)

    happy father’s day din kay tatay mo :)

  3. dencios permalink
    June 21, 2009 6:04 am

    hindi na ako nagtataka kung bakit maganda ang perspective mo sa buhay kasi napalaki ka ng parents mo ng maayos. kung mababasa nya lang tong post na to mateteary eyes yun sa tuwa sa iyo. pihadong PROUD sayo un!. TAGOS SA PUSO E.

    hapi father’s days sa lahat ng tatay!

    salamat sa compliments, dencio! happy father’s day din sa dad mo :)

  4. IKAY permalink
    June 21, 2009 7:55 am

    awwwts…as my twin sis said nakakatats nga itong post na ito :( yun nga lang mapalayo ka sa parents mo nakaka sad na eh yun pa kayang mawala sila talaga.
    hindi mo man cguro nakasama ang tatay mo sa paglasap ng tagumpay mo pero malamang masaya sya dahil nakikita ka nya na naging matagumpay sa buhay at naging mabuting anak.

    HAPPY FATHER’S DAY kay TATAY mo.

    mwuah! ^_^

    kaya nga naiinggit ako dun sa mga may tatay pa… kahit malayo or magkahiwalay ang magulang. the mere fact na buhay ang tatay eh importante yun. but as i said in my post, my 14 years with tatay was really a blast.

    happy father’s day din kay tatay mo :)

  5. June 21, 2009 10:18 am

    :)

    He must be a proud dad. ur a very sweet child Ms Winkie :)

    thanks mon!

  6. June 21, 2009 10:42 am

    naiyak ako sa entry mo na to. seryoso. it made me realize how lucky i am that my dad’s still alive, though not with us physically..

    im sure na your dad is so proud of you wherever he is right now. and i admire your mom for raising you to be a wonderful person that you are now. :)

    you are right, AC. my mom is really an admirable woman. she raised me well after tatay left us. kaya naman, i try to return all the favor the best that i can :)

  7. sandi permalink
    June 21, 2009 1:20 pm

    Hi! idagdag ko lang syong naresearched..Kapag father’s day official flower ang rose, kapag yumao na.. white roses raw ang ibigay mo at red roses naman sa mga buhay pa.

    Kaya, ibinibigay ko ang aking “white roses” sa yong mahal na daddy ;)

    Hapi Father’s day!

    ay salamat sa additional information, sandi. at salamat din sa white flowers for tatay. i know he would appreciate them. gusto mo papuntahin ko cya sayo para pasalamatan ka ng personal? hehehe!

  8. June 21, 2009 1:23 pm

    happy father’s day! where ever he is. proud siya at for sure, masaya siya. you were never less of a daughter. he was never less of a father.

    gandang artic! kahit nasa archives na’to pagdating ng araw, masarap pa rin basahin.

    kudos to all the fathers out there!

    salamat ax! pinabasa ko ito dati sa sis ng tatay ko… and it really made her cry.

  9. June 21, 2009 1:48 pm

    Naalala ko tuloy yung song na “Dance with my Father” :)

    hmmmm… hanapin ko nga yang song na yan, AC!

    • IKAY permalink
      June 21, 2009 3:44 pm

      ay ate winks very touching yang song na yan…sobrang makakarelate ka jan.

      hmmm… teka nga at madownload na yan. as in now na!!! :)

    • June 21, 2009 5:34 pm

      naku twin sis! kambal talaga tau….peyborit ko rin yang kantang yan…isama mo na ang butterfly kisses

  10. Star permalink
    June 21, 2009 2:12 pm

    In fairness, you made me realize that I am still a bit lucky that my dad is still alive. although separated parents ko, it seemed na okay pa din na nakakausap ko dad ko.

    Winkie, I admire you. You can hide and tell people your feelings and thoughts without hesitation. Hirap ako sa ganyan eh. :D

    you are indeed lucky, star! kahit papano you can still talk and be with your dad. kindly greet your dad for me :)

  11. June 21, 2009 5:35 pm

    winx (naks! may nickname na ako sau), pinost ko na ang naunsyameng wedding post…this is my way of releasing everything na

    rhons, WINX talaga ang spelling na gamit ko. check mo ung last 4 digits ng cell number ko… vanity number for WINX :P

    hmmm… parang na-excite akong basahin yang post mo. sayang di ako makakabase, blocked na lahat ng blogsites sa office eh! huhuhu!

  12. June 21, 2009 8:39 pm

    tuwing father’s day, di ko pinapalampas na hindi mag-post bilang pag-alala at paggalang sa tatay ko. ok, ok, hindi totoo yung paggalang pero alam naman ng tatay kung gaano sya kahalaga samin. happy fathers day sa tatay mo at tatay ko, malamang ‘homies’ na sila ngayon sa langit.

    ay malamang magroommates sila sa heaven ngayon!

    thankies for peeking in badoodles! balik balik ka ha! :P

  13. snglguy permalink
    June 22, 2009 1:57 am

    Like what I told you when i first read this post last year (nung dalawa o tatlo pa lang kaming tagasubaybay mo, hehe), your Dad will be mighty proud of what you have accomplished. ;-)

    hahaha… eh ngayon lima na ang tagasubaybay ko. :P

    thanks kuya rudy!

  14. June 22, 2009 3:28 am

    if you haven’t seen/heard the song i was telling you, here it is (different versions), you should check out the lyrics.. sori, mapapaiyak yata kita.. hehe.. :

    http://www.imeem.com/kleish26/music/g0NQuUYR/tamyra-grey-dance-with-my-father/

    http://www.imeem.com/people/LxLGp2/music/0HWcuAI5/luther-vandross-dance-with-my-father/

    happy listening! :)

    well, you did make me cry AC! sobrang nakarelate ako sa lyrics. i indeed would take every chance just to dance with Tatay again :)

    i will download this and put it in my ipod so i could listen to it everytime i want to. thanks for sharing this song. kisses to you AC!

  15. June 22, 2009 5:17 am

    Hi po Winkie,

    napadaan lang bagong blogger here!
    Happy Pader’s day sa mga dads nyo!! :)

    dead na si tatay ko. anyways, thanks sa greetings :)

    at salamat din sa pagdaan, chad! welcome to the blogging world :)

  16. June 22, 2009 5:50 am

    The truth is here at my end Mother’s Day is much celebrated compared to Father’s Day.

    One thing I observed is that in the hospitals the mother giving birthed has given the importance when naming the baby.

    Fathers have nothing to say and ignored.

    However, even though Father’s Day is not as important as the Mother’s Day, the voice of the daughters/sons should signify/testament/testimonies on how important this Father’s Day for them.

    The memories of love will bring us through!

    Happy Tatay Day… where ever you are.

    Hope you don’t mind if I will make a link to my HAPPY FATHER’S DAY BLOG.
    http://exodians.wordpress.com/2009/06/21/fathers-day-june-21-2009/

    Thank you!

    HAPPY 2009 Father’s Day!

    yeah, i read about that too. mas celebrated nga ang mother’s day. and even the telecon companies can attest to that as they have higher txt and call traffic during mother’s day. i guess because we are more maternal than paternal. but for me, i had a closer relationship with my dad when he was still alive. true blue daddy’s girl ako :P

    i have visited you back. thanks for sharing your HFD post. hope to see you again here, darbs!

  17. June 22, 2009 8:00 am

    aw. here’s a brotherly hug, winkie. *hugs*

    thankies for the sweet hug, deej! muaaah!!!

  18. June 22, 2009 7:45 pm

    kaya nga hindi na ako nagpost about father’s day (after my absent is lapu-lapu) post)…kasi naiiyak ako eh…
    tapos ito pang kay winkie…very touching talaga ang sinulat mo tungkol sa tatay mo….
    …alam mo yun, ang tatay talaga gagawin ang lahat mapasaya lang tayong mga anak kahit simple lang…
    …alam mo hindi naman talaga dahil di ka naging flight stewardess kaya dapat di maging proud sa iyo tatay mo….
    kundi kung ano ka ngayon….si winkie…
    …pramis pagyaman ko magtatayo ako ng airplane company na walang height requirement ang mga crew…hehehehehe..
    …salamat sa outstanding post na ito about fathers….at marami pang ibang nabasa dito sa blogosphere…..
    …salamat talaga ate winkie …hehehehehe…

    nyah! bakit biglang naging ate! whehehe! ewan ko ba, di ako binayayaan ng magandang height. mga female cousins ko eh 5’6″ or 5’7″… mukha tuloy akong unano pag katabi ko sila! hehehe! and yes, i think tatay would really be proud of me now. i really wish he’s here to witness and experience everything :)

  19. June 23, 2009 6:00 am

    hi winky maganda, Happy Fathers Day sa Dad mo…

    salamat, livingstain! belated happy tatay’s day din sa iyong mahal na ama :)

  20. June 23, 2009 7:47 pm

    Hinde ko alam pero naiyak ako sa kwento ng ref. Now that I’m working, gusto ko din mabili lahat ng mga hinde naexperience ng parents ko.

    I’m pretty sure your tatay’s very proud of you Ate Winkie. :) Di man ako nakapagpost about this special day dahil sa kabusyhan, greet ko pa din ang tatay mo ng belated happy Father’s day.. :)

    *mwahergggs*

    actually tuwing maalala kong yang story about that ref eh naiiyak ako. and mind you, when my aunt replaced the ref after tatay’s death, hindi sa amin binigay. i felt real sad then. kaya naman i got my mom and myself a freaking ref on my first Christmas paycheck. but that’s in the past now. di ako galit sa tita ko.

    thank you joycee and belated happy father’s din sa tatay mo. sowee, di ako ako nakakapagbloghop lately.

  21. June 24, 2009 8:30 am

    this is really touching ms.winkie aka ms.meikitomekiku..hehe

    ayan ngayon lang ako nagbabackread sa mga entries mo at sobrang busy.siksikan sked ko.patayan kasi pauwi ako sa pinas next week.yipeee

    btw,i’m sure your dad is happy and proud of what you’ve become. :p

    hi rye! it’s been a while huh?! lapit ka na pala umuwi. super excite ka na for sure!

  22. June 24, 2009 7:12 pm

    like what they said here, your Dad is definitely proud of you Winkz! ;-)

    Very touching post. ..

    On a lighter note, ang cute mo pala noong bata!!! Gusto kitang ampunin!!!

    Sorry sa late na pag comment, busy busyhan ang drama ko. Hehehe.

    Muah!!!

    oo nga, wish ko di na lang ako lumaki. hehehe! eh pwede mo pa rin akong ampunin, reese. teka, mag-iimpake na ako at makapunta na jan sa amerika.

    hehehe!

  23. June 25, 2009 2:17 pm

    I can very much relate to your story. The feeling of missing a loved one, a parent at most.

    Its unfortunate that your experiences with your dad was short lived. Although we all know that he’s in a better place.

    You would have much more to tell about how fun and crazy it is to have such a cool dad. Not to mention how irritating the experience of him setting up a fence around you from them nasty boys that would hurt your little heart. XD

    But still, he would’ve been proud to have had a macho-little-girl able to fend for herself against what ever life has to offer.

    Thanks for sharing. =]

    thanks TC. yeah you’re right. too bad it was short-lived. i could have experienced a lot more kulitan with him.

    it’s so nice to see you back on here. sayang lang, i can post comments on your site. di ako blogger.com member :(

    • June 26, 2009 3:46 am

      Oh but you can. ^^ Just use a gmail account. =]

      oh ok… sige nga, ill try with my gmail account :)

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