If he were with us today…
… I am quite sure that my and my mom’s life would be far different.
In November last year, I made an entry entitled Happy Father’s Day. It was my first-ever entry about my father. Tatay’s birthday is celebrated every end-November… 30th of the month, that is. This year, I failed to post an entry for him as I got too busy last month. And so, I thought of making one right after Christmas… his 18th death anniversary.
I know this post will be a bit too different with that of other blog posts as most bloggers are busy posting hapy stories about Christmas family gatherings, gift-giving, out-of-town Christmas vacays and all those fun things people do during Christmas break. For the past 18 years, the month of December is a bit different for me and my mom as we normally go the cemetery to pay Tatay a visit a day or two after Christmas. (I guess it’s better that way than Tatay visits us in our house. That would be kinda freaky, LOL!)
Well, if you have read my old post about Tatay, he was killed the morning after Christmas and died at the night of December 27. Oh yes, we still had to go through an almost-24-hour mixed emotions of pain, suffering, hatred and hope. But from the looks of Tatay back then, hope was nowhere near to be found.
I have always wondered how our life has been if Tatay were still alive today. I’m sure, our house is filled with more laughters as Tatay and I were extremely close. I’m also certain that life inside the house is way much easier for both my mom and me as Tatay is the best handyman that I have ever known.
So really, what if he were still with us today?
… I have also taken Tatay to those out-of-the-country trips and they will be more meaningful to me.
… I have also given Tatay some good shopping-spree so he won’t need to ask for used clothes from his brothers and nephews.
… I have also encouraged Tatay to enter those grand malls like Glorietta, Shangrila, Greenbelt, Gateway and MOA without feeling ashamed of our status in life.
… I have also showered Tatay with things that he has ever wanted. And yes, including those packs of Philip Morris eventhough Mommy and I endlessly asked him to try to stop smoking.
… I have also let Tatay experience drinking coffee at Starbucks as he was the first-ever coffee freak that I have ever known. I’m just not sure though if he’ll try Frapuccinos as he’s one hell of a black coffee drinker.
… I have also made Tatay darn proud of what I have become. Besides it was Mommy and him who molded me to what I am now. And whatever I have today, I owe every bit of it to them.
But if Tatay is really with us today, I bet my and my Mom’s Christmases would never be the same and be far more special.
I really wanted to write more but I have to cut this short now as I am in tears writing this entry.
And to you Tatay, I sooo miss you!