Never Say That Someone Completes You

“ Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole even we are by ourselves, for needing a certain person is not love but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part of our life is the best reason for having them. And you can only have enough. So rather than search for that someone who will complete you, wait for the person who will complement your completeness.”

This quote was sent by a friend through SMS yesterday. At first, I did not pay much attention as it was too long. I thought it was just another text greetings that I receive every morning. I was able to really read the message during my inbox-cleaning-time… then I thought, this message is nice.

This message is true… very true for me!

A suitor once told me that his life wouldn’t be complete without me. Yes, you read it right! Once in my life, someone dared to court me! Hahaha! But that statement, for me, is just a lousy crap! I instantly thought that he wasn’t for me… he doesn’t deserve to be loved for he needs to fill an empty part of him. I felt so sorry for that guy!

I always believe that it’s important for a person to be happy, contented and complete before he/she share himself/herself to another person. Filling an empty part of one’s self is not the answer to happiness… it’s not the answer to being complete.

The quote also reminded me of this Jennifer Aniston film (can’t remember the title but it has something to do with the old film Mrs. Robinsons). Mark Ruffalo, Jen’s fiance in the film, told her something like this, “Of course I can live my life without you… but I just don’t want to.” Sound mushy eh! But this simple statement brought a whole new meaning to the word L-O-V-E. It simply sends the message that love or having a relationship is not just about emotions… but more of a decision… a commitment to embrace another person into our lives.

Too tired of that silly question…

Whenever I see friends or relatives, they always ask me one question: "May asawa ka na ba?"  This silly question sometimes tire me that I want to scream the moment I hear those words.

What’s even worse is when people tell me that they are somewhat confused why I’m still unattached… eh maganda, sexy at smart naman daw ako. (Uhhmm-uhhmm, those were ‘actual’ compliments po… I didn’t pay them to say those words, huh!). This, on the other hand, makes me feel that there is something wrong with me.

Yesterday was no different. I bumped into an old friend and the first thing she said was "Oi kumusta? Wala ka pa ring asawa?" Good thing, I was in a very good mood, otherwise sarcasm would cloud my answer. (Thanks to Mr. Bean and he kept me in a good mood longer than expected <wink!>)

This is the same reason why I sometimes hesitate on attending reunions or gatherings. I’m getting tired of this question. It really sound like there’s nothing else I could do with my life but to get married… and that getting married will assure me of my happiness in life.

Well, in fairness to my friends in couplehood, most of them have happily married lives. But marriage, from what they tell me, is not as easy as 1-2-3. Every single day is a struggle to make their marriage work. At some point or another, they get to experience problems. Some even experienced unbearable problems that the first solution they could think of is to get out of the marriage. So, it only means that marriage does not assure anyone of a happily-ever-after life.

I am not saying though that I am completely satisfied with my singlehoold… but just FYI, I’m enjoying every minute of it. Being single has its own perks. Just to list a few: I get what I want at my own pace, I can buy things for myself without any guilt, I can go to places without asking permission from anyone, and I can live my life the way I want it to be. Not to mention, I have lots of spare time to share with family and friends if they need me in an instant!

But of course, these things will not go on forever. Someday, I may (or will) have to leave this singlehood behind to share my life, my dreams and my future with someone who is willing to be with me until eternity. But if destiny says that my life will be spent in singlehood forever… well, I think I will just have to savor all those perks or my so-called "freedom" for the rest of my life.

So, next time you hear someone asks me that are-you-married-query, please don’t get shocked if I scream back at him/her/them. I’m just too tired… too damn tired of that silly question!

Going Back To My Old Haven

It’s been quite a while since I last visited this very serene place… a place that gave me comfort and strength… a place full of promise and blessings… a place where I felt I am a member of a very big loving and caring family.

I am talking about Tahanang Nasaret in Antipolo. A seminary slash retreat house owned and administered by the Alagad ni Maria Priests and Brothers.

Well, just look at thi picture to feel its serenity 🙂

 

 

For some personal reasons (too personal, I guess!), I decided not to visit Tahanang Nasaret eventhough I am expected to be present in several ocassions. I missed this place for almost 5 years.

But last Saturday was a different scenario. I needed to pay the place a visit. I had to bid Father Tomas Naval, one of my respected priest-friends, goodbye as he leaves for California.

I had lots of important memories with this place for it molded me to become what I am today. Well, not the silly-and-naughty-me but the other side of my personality. This place has shaped my faith in God… it helped me discover and know myself well… it enriched me to understand the people and things around me.

Although a lot of people left this place for one reason or another, their memories still linger on. Every single memory comes back to me whenever I sit at the porch simply looking at the grotto in the heart of the garden. Fond memories of good ol’ friends. Sad experiences that made the past more worthwhile to remember. And lots of emotions… outpouring emotions shared to some special persons who once dwelled in this place.

Truly, Tahanang Nasaret is a very special place for me.

On My Being Single and Having High Standards (daw!)

Most of my friends tell me that I put the bar so high…. the main reason why up to now, I haven’t found my better-half yet. Well, here are some of my defenses against the accusation of me having such high standards.

First and foremost, I am not looking for Mr. Perfect… I am simply waiting for Mr. Right! I am not perfect myself so I don’t think I am entitled to find Mr. Perfect. I would define Mr. Right as the guy who would take, accept and love me the way I am… someone who would complement my personality as well as my flaws. He is the guy who will complete me…. who is willing to fill my empty hands with his.

Still sound vague? Well, if you want to drill down on details, here is my idea of Mr. Right. However, I don’t want to tag this as my checkilist of requirements… but more of a guide! Some are negotiable though! Hahaha!

So, here it goes:

• Catholic. I am not what they call a “religious” person but I try to be an active and obedient member of the Catholic community… besides, it’s just a once-a-week thing! Although, sometimes, I have my share of absences! Bad ‘ol me! Seriously, it is very important for me that we share the same faith…. and this is something not negotiable! I always believe that “faith (in God) is the foundation of all relationships”.

• Good to look at. Physical appearance is somewhat important for me, too. However, I plainly termed it “good to look at”… thus, I am not hoping for a Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt look-a-like. Hey, I’m fully aware that I am not as pretty and hot as Katie Holmes or Angelina Jolie! I just want someone I can look at for hours without getting high on drugs! Just kidding! I simply want someone who is presentable…. someone I could do HHWWPSSP while strolling at Glorietta! Is that too much to ask??? Besides, I want to have good-looking kids someday. And I don’t want to be accused of contributing ‘junk’ to the society! (Soooooo sorry for the term, I really can’t think of a better word for ‘junk’)

• Independent/Professional. I have worked hard to be where I am now so I would expect Mr. Right to have done the same thing for himself, too. This is not an issue of stature but of proving something to one’s self. This, too, is a not negotiable!

• Smart and Practical. I am not much into genius guys as they would only make me feel dumb! I would rather go for a simple yet smart guy… someone who knows how to deal with the realities and practicalities of life.

• Responsible. Do I really have to explain this further? The word is self-explanatory! I guess, no one wants to be with someone who is not responsible… and I’m talking about family and money matters here, huh?!

• Courageous. My personality is strong… actually, too strong that other people find it quite intimidating! Well, I may look unapproachable but I don’t just growl on people if they want to talk to me. I’m just a typical snobbish-looking girl. So, it would really take some brave guys to actually get through that first level of knowing me.

• Strong but Sweet. Being strong for myself and the people around me is sometimes taxing…both physically and mentally! Tao lang din po ako! I also need a break! Sometimes, I want to have someone who can be strong for me… someone who will decide for me… someone I can depend on when I’m at my weakest. Be strong for me at all times as I would do for him. Strong enough to tame me down but knows when to inject a dash of sweetness to allow some cuddling moments to happen!

• With Good Sense of Humor. I really like to exchange good laughs and endless fun with friends… I think it would be more fun to share one-hell-of-a-laugh with Mr. Right! And if he knows how to put on a good joke… well, that’s definitely a big plus point… maybe, additional 50 ‘pogi’ points!

• Outgoing. Sharing a common interest will go a long way. So it’s necessary that we share something in common. I consider myself as an outgoing person so it would mean a lot to know if Mr. Right enjoy things that I like… which means, I will likewise enjoy all the things that he like.

• Older than me. Not too old though! 3- to 5-year gap would probably do! Hahah! I really do not know the rationale behind this one but guys younger than me instantly turn me off. As I said, I don’t know the reason why… so don’t dare ask me, ok?!

• Non-smoker. No valid explanation…. for kissing purposes only! Hahaha!

Lastly, he must be SINGLE! This one is definitely non-negotiable! 😉

Oh, just for additional info, I did not include any height requirement here anymore… to pave way for guys who are shorter than 5’8″… hahaha!

So there, I finally laid it out! Now tell me, do you still consider me as a “girl with high standards”???

On Mother’s Day…

Although I believe that Mother’s Day should be a daily thing, I’m really glad Anna Maria Reeves Jarvis made a day specially for mommies. On this day, we all have the opportunity to give back the love to this very person we care for more than anyone in this world… the one outstanding woman in our lives who relentlessly shared her love not only to us but also to those we love.

For those who know me well, you may agree if I say that my mom is my greatest wealth. Despite the “big” age gap, my mom has managed to keep a unique mother-and-daughter bonding that anyone could ever imagine. She brought me up well that we treat each other not as just mother and daughter but more of “bestfriends”. When I was younger (actually, so muuuch younger!), my mom once told me that she fears of me getting older… that when I turn 20, she’d be in her early 60s. And by that time comes, she could no longer relate to what I am up to.

 

But she was dead wrong!  That thing never happened. Our friendship was much stronger than that age gap she feared from. I even confirmed that when we were in Hongkong last year. I saw her enjoyed Disney as much as I did! It was one of the most fulfilling and fun trip for the both of us!

Just like other sons and daughters, I spent the entire Mother’s Day with my mom. We just dined out, watched a movie, strolled in the mall and bought some stuff. These are ordinary routines we do on ordinary weekends. But yesterday was different as it was for her and her’s alone! Again, it wasn’t grand… but it was definitely worth the time. As Mastercard would coin it: “The bonding moment was PRICELESS!”

Yesterday, I also had the opportunity to greet all my female friends… the women I look up to… the women I admire for bringing a good meaning to the word “motherhood”! I hope that they felt all the extra-ordinary love that they truly deserve.

And to all my equally-single friends, I also give tribute to your moms. I extend them my prayer and wishes of peace, love and good health.

God bless all the moms!

On Weddings…

Just moments ago, I attended a wedding. I was a part of it as I was the emcee for the reception program. I’ve done lots of weddings in the past. For relatives, close friends, not-so-close friends… I even do it for a fee (some sideline, huh?!).

Everytime I see young couples take that big leap in their lives, I always wonder how it is like to be in their situation. Some say that the day itself is nerve-wracking. Some say that it’s one big sunny day… a time of their lives when the sun shines at its brightest!

During wedding ceremonies at church, I always pray for the young couple in front of the altar. I pray that their union be blessed and guided by God for the rest of their lives. Besides, it is during weddings that these young couples seal their love with prayer and promise to be with each other ’til eternity.

Today’s wedding was a simple one. But the love of the young couple exuded that made the ocassion as lovely and magical as we could ever imagine. They were bonded by friendship, love and faith… no doubt, they will be together for all eternity.

And as for me, I will continue on wondering how it is like to be in front of the altar with a promise of forever love… until that day comes. Only God knows when. 🙂

Too Much Blessings

April 24, I celebrated my 31st birthday. I opted to stay at home and be with the closest people in my life: my mom, nieces and nephews.

I was surprised to have special visit in the afternoon. My best high school buddy dropped by to celebrate the day with me. Imagine, I was visited by a friend who is based in California?! That’s really something, huh?!

Lots of friends, close and not-so-close ones, sent me greetings. Each message, each greeting brought a smile on my face and made me feel special on that very day.

My day simply ended… no grand celebration… no fancy dinner… no special someone!

But despite all these, I felt so much blessed! I felt the outpouring love of the people around me… my most caring mom, my precious niece and nephews (who i call my children as I still don’t have children of my own), and my friends who have embraced me and took me as part of their lives.

My birthday was indeed a reminder of God’s gracious blessings to me.

April 25, I was back to reality. I went back to work. I was immediately called in by my boss. I was expecting follow-ups on my pending work due to my birthday leave. But I was wrong. My boss just wanted to personally greet me her belated birthday greetings… and she gave me one of the best gifts ever! My boss broke the good news… I was promoted!

As I left the room, my heart was overflowing with joy. I was in cloud nine for quite sometime. I immediately texted my mom the good news… she was very happy for me.

When my day at work ended, I immediately rushed home. Little did I know, another surprise was waiting for me. My little children prepared a small surprise party! A beautifully designed hand-written banner was hanging from the ceiling saying, “Congratulations, Tita Winkie!”.  Neon-colored confetti flew all over the room as my children hugged and kissed me. I somehow felt that I made them all proud.

It was overwhelming! The love is truly overwhelming.