I’m still alive!!!

It’s been more than a month since I last posted an entry here. I really wanted to write but I can’t gather my thoughts that much. I think I am not yet fully recovered from my most recent heartache that I went through that’s why I’m still not in my usual blog writing mood. Maybe, there are nothing much to share. Or maybe, it’s the so-called writer’s block. But hey, I’m not a writer! So, I don’t have the right to use that term. Oh well, let’s just say that I’m just too lazy to write. LOL. 

While I was on my unplanned and unannounced haitus (oh hah, feeling writer talaga! hehehe!) absence from the blogworld, I got uber busy with some other things. Eto po sila…

• Work! Work! Work! I’m too glad though that work got piled on my desk lately. It helped me shift my attention from being sad to wanting to accomplish a major project at work. I got successful on both tasks though. LOL.

Note: I don’t wear outfits like these at work, huh!

Although I really wish I could. Hehehe!

This is just for illustration purposes. LOL

 

• Bobba Bar. Two months ago, I discovered this application on iTunes. It’s free so I downloaded it immediately on my iTouch.  Since it’s a chat application, I instantly got hooked. I really like to chat because I’m amazed how a person sitting in front of a computer, or iPhone/iTouch for that matter, get to meet people from around the globe. I should commend whoever invented the wonderful world of chat. LOL. And so, I got engrossed not only by meeting new friends but by looking at the cute avatars. One can actually feel being in a bar. See how cute the screen looks like… 

 

• American Idol. It’s that season once again when I go rushing home from work every Wednesday and Thursday just to catch American Idol’s 8pm encore and later on watch the 11pm replay. As of this writing, there are only 11 contestants left vying for the prestige to become the next American Idol. And as always, I saw an eye-candy contestant in this year’s competition. This time, it’s Casey James. I think he’s not much of a performer an AI should be. But what the heck! He’s cute! LOL.  (Note to my David Cook: Don’t get jealous, baby. My heart is yours alone. LOL)

Isn’t he yummy dreamy???

 

• Upcoming Birthday Trip. At last, my long-time dream of celebrating my birthday at Disneyland will finally come true this year! (Parang bata noh? Gusto pa talaga sa Disney magbertday! Hehehe!). I have already secured my PAL ticket… take note, not promo fare huh?!?! LOL. And I’m taking Mommy with me. I’m also meeting a friend there so it would be more fun. Well, being the OC traveller that I am, my hands are always busy browsing the net, canvassing for better accommodation packages. I don’t need to check the “Where To Go” sites anymore though as HK is no longer new to me. I’m so flying PAL this time… yipee!!! 🙂

 

 

• Catching up with grade school friends. Social networking sites like FB, Multiply and Friendster have helped me a lot in finding long lost friends. And just recently, I got reconnected with my grade school classmates via Facebook. They already had a small get together some weeks ago but I wasn’t able to attend. I think I just failed to get the location details… lousy me! LOL. Some 3 to 4 nights ago, I got tagged by one of my classmates and I was surprised to see some old photos she posted in her album. I want to share these to you as it made me smile and think about the past when I saw the pics. I put some marks so it would be easier to identify which one am I. LOL

 

This is all for now! I will try to write more often though. LOL 

 

 

She…

Just moments ago, I received a chain email from a friend overseas. I’m not at all a fan of chain emails but I’m posting the contents here as I believe that they are worth-sharing especially to all the guys out there. A famous writer says that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, hence the multiple unexplainable reasons for disagreements. Well, the chain mail, I think, will give most men some good tips how to handle their women. Get your paper and pen now and take note… or better yet, just print this out and keep it always with you as guide. LOL. 

Here goes…

I don’t care if you have a boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife right now.  

I don’t care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson.

If only everyone could see this and understand it.

Just read this, it will make a difference.

 

 

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

 When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy because she thinks she’s stronger than you
Grab her and don’t let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she’s quiet
Ask her what’s wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she’s scared
Protect her

When she steals your favourite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don’t look away until she does

When she says it’s over
she still wants you to be hers

–  When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

–  When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you

–  Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

–  Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

– Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

–  Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

–  Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it’s stupid

–  Give her the world.

–  Let her wear your clothes

– When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

– Let her know she’s important.

–  Don’t talk about other girls around her

–  Kiss her in the pouring rain

–  When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
“Whose butt am i kicking baby?”

So guys, just remember all these… and everything will turn out fine. LOL.

I wish there is also a “he” version of this so that us girl will also know what to do with our men 🙂

He’s out of my life…

Some 16 months back, I got too bored in front of my laptop and decided to enter into a chatroom. I’m really not the aggressive type who would do the first move on sending messages to random chatters. I would normally wait for messages to appear. One boring evening, a chat window popped out on my screen. At first, I was too hesitant to talk to that stranger because his handle slash user ID was too naughty and provocative for me. And so, I honestly told that stranger that I’m not interested to chat with him simply because I didn’t like his handle. He just LOL-ed and continued on to convince me that there’s nothing wrong with his ID. We instantly hit it off. And we started to chat. That first chat session lasted for more than 3 hours.

My new found online friend then started to communicate to me regularly. We started to build a friendship even though we were thousands of miles apart. Time difference was never a hindrance for us as we get to talk at the most convenient time… my night time that is. We talked about a lot of things… mostly about the usual getting-to-know stuff like work, family, hobbies, likes and dislikes, and other personal stuff that is worth knowing and sharing. We’ve learned more about each other as days and weeks went by. We shared laughter and even some sad on-goings that came our way. I felt that there was a special kind of connection between us. Talking to him then became a part of my system. I really enjoyed being online with him. He truly was a nice and sensible guy.

For me, he was the “perfect” package. Call me immature, but I really got instantly hooked with his looks. Well, who wouldn’t? He’s got sweet manly facial features, nice smile, sexy blue eyes, an almost perfect nose, cute curly blonde hair and not to mention, an uber sizzling hot bod. As I would normally term it, he’s just so overly delicious and mouthwatering. LOL. Kidding aside, I tried to look beyond his physique. And yes, his personality is really something I would fall in love with. He’s a good son to his parents and a sweet older brother to his sister. He took on every responsibility so seriously. He was very much straight forward. He expressed what he likes and dislikes in me without being offensive. He has his sweet special way of saying things. He’s not much of a funny guy but he indeed has a smooth and subtle sense of humour.

As months passed by, I started to notice something different in me. I was beginning to develop feelings toward him. It was a relief for me to know that it was mutual as he explicitly told me how he felt for me. And I did the same for him. Although he (or I, for that matter) never mentioned anything about love or future plans, I knew we had a special connection that could go far beyond friendship.

For the longest time, I have never thought I will ever meet a guy who would really measure up to my standards. Without any effort, he just did. In fact, he was more than what I was hoping for. I remember making a list 3 years back about my so-called standards slash checklist of guy-requirements and he just missed one item. That is, he’s younger than me… just by 3 years though. He actually read that entry once and asked me what I really meant about age preference. Oh well, I simply told him that my checklist was written some years back and that particular item does not apply to him at all. I opted to make him the “only” exception to my rules. LOL.

For 16 months, I tried to nurture that special online friendship. I know he did, too, as he made time to talk to me despite his busy schedules.

For 16 months, I tried to patiently wait on the hope that someday soon, I will get to meet him up close and really know him on a very personal level. I have been wanting for that day to come. And I know he was, too. He even planned to visit Boracay with me and asked me to be with him all the time once he comes over.

For 16 months, I tried to hold onto my feelings until I see him for real. I never told him how I really feel for him as I know it’s not proper to tell serious matters in such impersonal manner.

Last Sunday, for the very first time, I received an email from him. I was kinda surprised as we only get to communicate via chat. He started by telling me updates about his 5-month training in Europe which I was aware of. He told me that he’s back in his native land for some R and R before going back to the Middle East. He said he was glad to see some of his friends while he was there. And suddenly, he broke a not-so-good news to me… he opted to take on a commitment with an old-time friend who is deeply in love with him. In fact, it’s just not any other marriage commitment. For me, he did something noble that he somehow needs to sacrifice something for his new girl. I completely understood that she needs his love and attention more than anything in this world. I don’t wanna drill down on details but I really found sincerity in his email. I had no choice but to accept it. Besides I am completely aware that we were never the boyfriend-girlfriend type of chatmates.

But there’s one portion in his email that struck me the most. It was the part when he said, “I’m sorry for telling this to you. I really wanted to marry you. I was supposed to propose to you when I see you in person. Maybe you will feel bad about it. But I wanted to make everything clear before I enter into a new life. I’m so sorry.” As always, I felt how sincere he was.

At first, I was in awe. I never thought that he could be that serious to want to propose to me. And when I tried to absorb those words further, it made me so freaking sad… so sad that tears fell off my eyes. I felt all my dreams for/about/with him instantly vanished into thin air. No more hoping of being with him every waking morning of my life. No more dreaming of seeing the world with him. And no more wishing of spending a sweet lifetime just with him.

For days, I tried hard to accept all these. I know things happen for a reason. He was back in his hometown for a greater purpose. Maybe the girl, now his wife, needs him more than I do. Maybe his wife can love him more than I could. And maybe, just maybe, his new girl deserves him more than I do.

But then I again I thought, don’t I need him too? Don’t I love and care for him too? Don’t I deserve to be with an awesome guy like him? Every single day, I hoped and wished for someone like him… exactly like him.Too bad though, it’s just not meant to be. We were not meant to be. Note to readers: Don’t bother telling me that pampalubag loob statement, “Dont worry, someone better will come along”. I don’t think there’s someone better out there. And if there is, I might not care that much.

Oh well, I’d stop whining now. He’s already gone. I may never get to talk to him again. But I don’t have any regrets on knowing someone like him and spending those sleepless nights talking to him. I’m glad I got to know a person with such good heart.

And to my special friend, I will truly and deeply miss you. But now, I say goodbye to you. I hope and pray that you will be loved and adored more than you truly deserve… way more than I could.

I found this song too fitting for what I feel. I’m trying to tell myself that he is out of my life. Or is it the other way around… I’m out of his life. Ouch! 😛

Those funny signs-slash-pics once more

I have been uber busy with a lot of things lately that I barely visit my own site. Again, pardon for the absence and for not counter-visiting all your blogsites. Sorry na please. LOL.

I really wanted to continue writing about my Thai-Viet trip late last year (uber backlog na ito!!!)  but I can’t put on much time with my lappy lately. So for now, I just want to leave you with something from that trip (filler entry na naman!). As always, I took some funny pics I came across during that trip.

Here they are. Have fun!

 

Hotel Room, BKK

Look closer at the coupon.  Free swimming pool daw!

Sayang di ko naiuwi! hehehe!

 

At some malls in BKK

Tagalog: Mag-ingat sa gamit nyo! LOL

 

 

Siam Paragon Grocery, BKK

Kumusta naman?!

Ang mga chimay may exclusive drinks…

at ang mahal ah!

 

 

Siam Paragon Grocery, BKK

Ikaw, kaya mo kainin ‘to?

 

 

Chatuchak Market, Bangkok

Sorry, bukas di ka na blessed! Hehehe!

 

 

Chatuchak Market, Bangkok

 Basta binebenta daw! 😛

 

Chatuchak Market, BKK

Ingat, ingats sa dukutan! 😛

 

 

At my hotel room in BKK

Oh ano mali dyan? 😛

 

 

Some restroom on the way to Pattaya

Sorry di ko talaga na-gets ‘to!

Duda ko may kasunod pa dapat ito. Hehehe!

 

 

Hotel restroom, Saigon

 

Tagalog translation:

Patayin ang lahat ng ilaw

‘pag di ginagamit, pwede?

 

 

 

 

Inside the train, BKK

 

Oh, there’s nothing wrong with this one.

I just took a snap so I’d remember the website. LOL

 

This is all for now. See y’all next time! 🙂

 

 

 

The year that was…

Yeah, I know, I have been uber slow in posting lately. Well, blame it to someone I’m starting to hate now. I so got busy checking on him and made me freaking mad to learn that he is a freaking liar! And to that guy, watch me do my revenge. *evil laugh* I have just been busy with a lot more interesting things  plus the fact that I turned into an regular resident at  Bobba Bar in my iTouch. Maybe I will tell you more about that Bobba Bar thingie when I get a chance some time in the near future. LOL.

And since I wasn’t able to post an entry last New Year, I want to make up for the lost time and make this a 2-in-1 entry. That is because, today marks a special day for me here in the blogosphere. Today, I celebrate my 1st anniversary as  a  WordPresser. Hence, the title “The Year That Was”.

As some of you know, I started to blog when I was still in Friendster as I wanted to improve on my English writing skills update all my friends about some of my important and worthy-to-share ongoings . I was really having fun at Friendster then, until suddenly, my  old-time friend slash high school classmate, Jhoen a.k.a. Rev Siopao (who apparently is in haitus now due to his new life as a priest) tried to convince me to move my blog to WP. He thought I could reach a larger audience if I’d do that. But then again, I was blogging just for my friends at Friendster. Then, another new found blogger friend,  Kuya Rudy a.k.a. snglguy, convinced me to move out of Friendster as it took time to load my page from his end. He thought it might be one of the reasons why I don’t have much readership. After a few days, those two consistently convinced me to migrate. And on January 11, 2009, I have finally decided to be a WordPresser… and Winkie’s World was born.

Know what are the 2 major things that WP brought/taught me?

First, it drew me closer to writing and made me wanna share things slash stories to people I have never met.

photo nabbed from marketingzone.co.uk

And second, made me gain new friends. Some I have already met personally (guys and gerls, you know who you are) and some I have yet to see in person… but either way, I felt special  connection to each one of them.

EB Babes: Joycee, Star, Kikay, sioPao and Azul

Grand Tivoli EB: Lei, Yhen, Rye, Lovely, Jason, Ax, Otep, Joycee, Moi, mystery blogger, Eli, Taympers and Kengkay

And I’d like to thank WordPress for those. 😉

But now, let me give you a very quick rundown of the things that happened to me in 2009:

January

• Got a major zit problem that made me freaking sad at the start of the year
• My first time again in years to celebrate the Feast of the Nazarene in Quiapo
• Met a blogger for the first time

February

• Got featured as Rye’s first-ever Peek of the Week
• Booked an ultra cheap promo fare for Mom’s birthday in October
• Completed my stint as a Real Change Leader (RCL) at work… this meant I got extra moolah from my employer! LOL

March

• Secured Boracay booking… and was extemely happy and excited to come back to Bora!

April

• My birthday month.
• Had an uber busy birthday celebration: lunchtime at Friday’s with Mommy, Potchie and April, dinner at Dad’s with college best pals Jing and Beth and inuman session at Gilligan’s with co-RCLs.
• Celebrated Easter at Tahanang Nasaret… glad to be back home 🙂

May

• Had a quick escapade in Bora with Mommy and 2 other colleagues.

June

• Had a fun night with the girls from the blogosphere.

July

• Joined Mon’s Love Emo Writing Contest… my first time to ever join such a contest.

August

• Bagged the grand prize in Mon’s Love Emo Writing Contest… and got a me cool love-themed shirt! LOL
• Got sad with the passing of Tita Cory (close kami, bakit ba?!)

September

• Met with a larger group of bloggers… both local and international! LOL.
• Got struck by Ondoy… my first time to ever experience flood inside the house. Took a toll on my wallet big time! LOL.

October

• Took Mommy to Thailand and Vietnam for her 74th birthday celebration… yep, I’m completely aware that I’m not yet through with my travel escapade entries. Four more entries to go. I hope to post them soon.
• Got featured in Women’s Health Magazine… very showbiz talaga!!! LOL.

November

• Noticed a small lump on my neck… and started my year-end agony.
• Went to visit Tatay on his birthday.

December

• Attended Fr. Jhoen’s ordination to priesthood and his first-ever Thanksgiving mass.
• Underwent a lot of tests and consultation.
• Experienced ultrasound and CT scan for the first time.
• Got extremely happy to know that the lump is just a swollen lymp node.
• Went back to Cavite to visit Tatay and cried my heart out.
• Got transferred to a new department at work… I hope everything will be well in 2010 for us all.

So, that was it. If you’d notice, there were grand things that happened to me in 2009 but I have equally experienced some not-so-good things. Still, I feel blessed to be alive and be where I am now. God is really good all the time!

Hmmmm… I wonder what are the things that await me in 2010. I hope something better than these. Let’s just wait and see.

So now, late as I may seem, please allow me to greet…

Merry Christmas indeed!!!

Again, pardon for not posting updates lately. I was up on my sleeves before Christmas… still about my health. But 2 days before Christmas, I received the best gift ever.

I was scheduled for biopsy last Wednesday, December 23. I went for it so as not to prolong the agony that I have been experiencing the past few weeks. I was glad though that there was a pathologist willing to conduct biopsy despite the holiday fever.

At 9:45 a.m., I was already at Makati Med’s Pathology Section lobby. And at exactly 10 a.m., a male doctor in loose rapper-like jeans approached me and said, “Ms. Argamaso?” I nodded. He uttered, “Dito tayo.”

The doctor was young and looked relaxed which was a bit too comforting for me. To add more comfort, I tried to talked to him:

Doctor: Bakit ka iba-biopsy?

Winkie: Meron po kasing lump sa neck ko. (Showed him the left side of my neck)

Doctor: Ay, ang laki! Kulani?

Winkie: Sa palagay nyo po?

Doctor: Parang. But let’s see kung ano result ng biopsy.

Winkie: Inooperahan ba yung ganito?

Doctor: Depende sa doctor mo.

Winkie: Yikes! Takot ako sa surgery, doc. Tsaka, ayoko magkaroon ng tahi.

Doctor: Nagpachest x-ray ka na?

Winkie: Hindi pa po.

Doctor: I suggest you do. Tatlo kasi ang cause ng kulani: sipon, deprensya sa tenga or mahinang lungs.

Winkie: I see. Di naman po ako sipunin at walang deperesya sa tenga ko. Siguro nga sa lungs. Kaso di po inadvise ng doctor ko. Pwede ba ako magpasecond opinion kung sakali?

Doctor: Oo naman. Pa-second opinion ka para sure.

Winkie: Sige po.

Doctor: Oh ano, game na?

Winkie: Masakit ba?

Doctor: (Looked at my lump and then nodded). Oo eh!

Winkie: Wag na lang kaya? Uwi na lang ako.

Doctor: Sige, ok lang. Kaso biopsy ka pa rin next year. Ngayon na noh!

Winkie: Ok fine. Ngayon na nga! Sayang naman pinunta ko dito.Teka, masakit ba talaga?

Doctor: Mejo lang, tiisin mo lang.

Winkie: Gaano kasakit? Parang facial?

Doctor: Yung facial kasi relaxing. Eto may konting pain kasi may kukunin ako sa loob. Pero ung facial na may pimple. mga 15x ang sakit nun.

Winkie: Hindi nga?

Doctor: Gusto mo lagyan natin ng anesthesia?

Winkie: Pwede?

Doctor: Oo naman.

Winkie: Sige po, please.

Doctor: (Pulled out an ointment tube’)

Winkie: Ay kala ko injection.

Doctor: Ano ka manganganak? Biopsy lang sa leeg noh?!

Winkie: Oh ok. Kala ko general anesthesia para wala talaga akong maramdaman.

Doctor: Baka ma-Michael Jackson ka.

Winkie: Ay bakit? Ano ba talaga kinamatay nun?

Doctor: Overdose ng anesthesia. Gusto matulog kaya nagpapaturok lagi ng anesthesia.

Winkie: Showbiz ka, doc ah!

Doctor: Hindi naman. Medical kasi ang reason ng death tapos linya ko pa kaya alam ko. (Lathered some ointment on my neck)

Winkie: Doc, damihan mo para super effective ah.

Doctor: (Laughed) Sige. Takot ka talaga noh?

Winkie: Obvious na ba? Pano naman, worst na naging sakit ko eh lagnat. Never pa kaya akong na-ospital.

Doctor: Ano ba, kulani lang yan!

Winkie: Eh doc, ano sa english ng kulani. Para pag sinabi ko sa friends ko hindi naman masyadong pangit pakinggan.

Doctor: Lymph node. Swollen lymph node.

Winkie: Bad ba ang kulani, este swollen lymph node?

Doctor: Hindi ah. Yung lymph node ang nagfifilter ng blood before it goes to the heart. So malamang, may nafilter yan na marumi kaya lumaki ng ganyan.

Winkie: Oh ok. Di pa ako made-deads ah!

Doctor: Hindi noh?! Mga 70%, ok ang result. I assure you. O game na, baka mawala effect ng anesthesia.

Winkie: Ok doc. Dahan-dahan ah! Pag nasaktan ako, saktan din kita. (Laughed)

Doctor: Promise, di masakit. Konting tiis lang. Wag kang lulunok at magsalita ah!

And so, the doctor finally pulled out some cell samples from my lump. He did it twice. He said he needed to check another area to make the findings more accurate. It was just a short procedure. Mas mahaba ang idinaldal ko kesa sa biopsy, hehehe!

Doctor: (Putting something on my neck)

Winkie: Ano yan doc? Baka masakit ah!

Doctor: Band-aid lang noh?!

Winkie: So, kelan result nito doc?

Doctor: Di ba sinabi sa yo?

Winkie: Next year daw po, January.

Doctor: Oo, after January 19. Wala kasi yung head namin. Sya ang mag-aanalyze ng results eh

Winkie: Ganun? Ang tagal ko pala maghihintay. Kala ko mga first week lang ng January.

Doctor: Eh out-of-the-country yung head namin.

After that, he handed me a paper and asked me to proceed to the cashier. I went back the Pathology Section to gave him my receipt.

Doctor: Oh, here”s your claim receipt. Sa January na lang ah!

Winkie: January talaga?

Doctor: (Whispered) Tinest ko na, benign cells. No need to worry. Pero syempre yung official result next year na. I just want to assure you para merry ang Christmas.

Winkie: Uy, thanks doc! Super gift talaga yang sinabi mo sa akin. Di na ako iiyak sa gabi. Merry na talaga Christmas ko.

Doctor: Para di ka na maghintay at maenjoy mo na ang holiday season.

Winkie: Thanks po. Eh teka, bakit masakit sya ngayon? Eh kanina pag punta ko di naman masakit.

Doctor: Syempre, binugbog ko eh. May kinuha ako sa loob.

Winkie: Ano pwede kong inumin?

Doctor: I-John Lloyd mo lang yan.

Winkie: John Lloyd?

Doctor: Biogesic. Pag di umubra, i-Manny Pacquiao mo.

Winkie: Alaxan?

Doctor: Oh yun, alam mo naman pala eh!

Winkie: O cya doc, salamat uli! Merry Christmas

It was really a relief for me to hear that doctor’s assuring words. After that, I went back to the office with a big smile on my face and I instantly told my colleagues about it. They were so happy for me. I immediately texted my Mom and aunt. My aunt called me and expressed how happy she was of the result. Mommy, on the other hand, texted me back with, “Salamat sa Diyos, anak! Maganda ang resulta. Magdaan ka sa simbahan bago ka umuwi at magthank you ka ke Lord.” I replied, “Of course, I will.”

It was my best gift of the season. Now I could sleep with ease and smile effortlessly. But still, I am truly thankful to all my colleagues and friends who showed deep concern, support and love. All your prayers were heard there in the heavens. Indeed, God is great… all the time!

I know it’s a bit late for holiday greetings but this little girl is extremely happy this season (kaso di nakasmile sa pic kasi ayaw ang suot, hahaha!) and wishes to greet you all a very…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

More blessings of love and peace to you and your loved ones!

My best Christmas gifts so far…

It’s way too obvious that I haven’t been updating my blog lately. I even asked a blogger friend to make me an entry so there would at least an update here. And to that guest blogger friend, thank you so much.

I really wanted to write/blog about a lot of things. I have been thinking of posting my grand Christmas wishlist. Well, it’s again comprised of those expensive gadgets and ladies accesories that I have been eyeing on for weeks-slash-months-slash-years now. But I opted to pass on that for now. I wasn’t able to write anything lately because I was way too busy with work and some other uber personal matters. Also, I have been kinda tired and scared of something (this is a new feeling for me) that I opted to just spend my extra time online at Facebook to at least shift my attention. Well, I have posted there some quick updates of what I am going through and most of my dearest friends have outpoured me with their love, support and prayers.

I guess, you are a bit confused now of what I am trying to tell here. Well, it about the lump on my neck. I first felt a small pearl-sized lump on my neck way back in 2000 (or I guess it was earlier). At first, I got confused what it was. But our company’s in-house nurse told me that it was just a lymph node. I didn’t pay much attention to it as it didn’t bother me a bit. But 3 weeks ago, I noticed it got bigger. It was too sudden that I woke up one morning with lump this big,

Did you get scared for me? Well, just imagine how scared I was when I first noticed it. I thought it could be something very serious and that it could harm me the way I never imagined. I didn’t feel any pain though. But the thought of having that thing inside my body really gave me the creeps. For the first few days (and up to now, from time to time), I cried the hardest thinking it could be the end for me. Yeah, I thought about the worst.

Things haven’t changed now. I still have the lump despite the 2-week medication my doctor prescribed me. I have undergone ultrasound and CT scan to check the real stand. I have the results with me but I have yet to seek medical interpretation from my doctor tomorrow.

These past 3 weeks have been hard for me. But as they say, life goes on. And I have a lot other things to be thankful for.

It’s just 4 days before Christmas. And just like anybody else, I have received several gifts from friends and colleagues. And as always, it touches my heart to know that there are a lot of people who cares for me and never fails to remember me during this time of year. And with this thing that I have been experiencing these past few weeks, I think I have received the best gifts I could ever get.

Just moments ago, I received this text message from a colleague:

Hi Winks. I heard mass with my family kanina. Wala lang, naalala kita. Hope you feel better and prayed na mawala na ang bukol mo para di na kayo magworry ng Mom mo. Ingat.

It was just a short message… but I really wanted to cry when I read it. I felt loved and cared for.

Some days back, I had this SMS conversation with my friend slash choirmate:

Winkie: In case my doctor would require me surgery, pwede mo ba akong samahan? I don’t think I could take my Mom with me to the hospital.

Friend: Oh sure. Sasamahan kita. I-text mo lang ako.

Winkie: Thanks ha! Natatakot lang kasi ako.

Friend: Wag kang matakot, Winks. Lakasan mo lang ang loob mo. Kaya mo yan… kaya natin yan!

It made me wanna cry, too, knowing that I have friends beside me… always!

And 2 nights back, during our department’s Christmas Party, I found this on my desk:

It was a Christmas gift for my boss. I noticed the card, my boss striked his name through and wrote my name instead. I went to him and asked, “Sir, para sa akin po ba ito?” He replied, “Oo, sa ‘yo na. Natapos ko nang basahin. Maganda sya, maraming kwento tungkol sa miracles. Basahin mo rin.” I just said, “Maraming salamat po, Sir.” But deep down inside, I was so touched for my boss’s gesture that I wanted to cry.

There are a lot other gifts I received. Those simple messages by friends via SMS, Facebook and email. Those encouraging words. Those show of concern and comfort. Those short phrases “I’m praying for you, Winks.” or “Kaya mo yan.” They all mean a lot to me. These are the things that make me strong now. These are my best Christmas gifts.

So, from the bottom of my heart… THANK YOU!

Just a quick Christmas post…

 “Merry Christmas anak!” my lovable nanay told me the last time I phoned them.

I am thinking, “What in the world is happening to me?” Christmas is just around the corner and really coming fast that I wish I could somehow feel the sprint towards the season especially the rush of like, you need to splash out Glorietta, Divisoria and/or MOA regardless of a tsunami coming (while you are busy finger-counting how many inaanaks you have).

Mga bossing, living in the Middle East independently is like living in a box without anything to see but could only listen to all the carols outside (if you know what I mean especially during Christmas time). That’s why when I learned that Winkie is planning to go abroad with her mom for good daw (which I think is not pushing through anytime soon, haha); I handed her over one by one the hurdles that might not be fitting for her. Besides money is not at all necessary for them, madami na siya nyan eh at malungkot talaga magpasko sa ibang bayan.

Ok, enough of the teleserye-like litany.

So what could be my ultimate wish for her this Christmas? Hmmm…

No, just lemme say this (para safe, haha), “Madami ang nagmamahal sa kanya, di nya lang makita!”

Wait, did I sound like she needed love because desperate na siya? Hahaha.

Not that, of course!

Eh kayo mga bossing, any wishes for her this Christmas?

Warning: Be safe, be nice. May moderator for this entry. Haha

BTW, I am not Winkie (if it’s not obvious yet. Haha). And I am not gonna tell who I am because you wouldn’t wanted to know either.

December Calendar

 

Manunubos

When people ask, “What is your medium (in painting)?”, I wonder what the Divine artist used as His medium to communicate with us. My trip to a dump site gave me an answer. I was struck by a small tattered ‘parol’ (a star-shaped lantern) which hung at an abandoned garbage truck. I couldn’t help but think of the possibility of Jesus being born in such lowly place.

A garbage site is one of the saddest and most humiliating sights; children digging into a mountain of mock, at times jumping into the jaws of trucks to salvage things out before they even reach the dump site. These are the outskirts of our community, unnoticed until the tragic garbage slide happens. It is humanity at its worst.

Nothing is more extremely lowly than God becoming a man. He was using the best medium in his art; solidarity with man by becoming as lowly as man. His invitation? To live more in solidarity with others than to my own image or rights, my own comforts or lifestyle. Such is the most amazing medium in the world because it communicates the immeasurable love of God.

– Joey Velasco

That special guy in my life…

I’m still not through with my travel entries. Yep, mahaba pa po ang kwento ko. I still have 2 entries to post. So, watch out for that! Whehehe! I just need to make this very special entry to a very special guy in my life.

Today, that special guy is celebrating his birthday. I remember when I was younger, we would spend it as simple as we could. We would only hear mass in the morning and after that, have simple celebration at home. He sometimes invited some of his friends over to celebrate it with him.

Life is not the same anymore. We don’t hear mass together. My mom and I still do though. We would normally go to visit his place and say a short prayer for him. Today, that special guy in my life could have been 67 years old.

Yesterday, we went to see him. We were a day ahead because there’s something I need to do today. We were picked up by her younger sister. And while we were on our way to his place, I started to cry when I heard this song being played on the radio.

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Ooh, ooh

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama crying for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I’m praying for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dying to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Tatay,

It would be really nice to dance with you again. But come to think of it, we never really danced. There were no grand celebrations that made us dance together as I was too young when you were taken from us. It’s sad that you weren’t able to see me become the lady I am today. I guess, college days were more meaningful for me if you were around. Because it was you who wanted to see me get that higher education that you and Mom were not able to accomplish for yourselves. So, thank you for encouraging me.

I turned 18 when I was about to finish college. Too bad, you never danced with me when I turned into a woman. It wasn’t grand though as Mom didn’t have the resources to throw an extravagant party for me. It was just a simple one. Just like my other birthday parties we used to celebrate at home. Just for close friends and relatives.

I never turned into a flight stewardess that you have been wishing for me to become. They said I don’t meet the basic requirement… height, that is! Sayang noh, sana pala pinakain mo ako ng Star Margarine nung bata pa ako. But I don’t have any regrets. I have been in the corporate world all my professional life. And guess what, ‘Tay? I also get to ride on airplanes now. I take Mommy to see places that we have never seen before… on my personal expense though. If only you were with us now, I bet you would also love to travel and explore new places. I know it would be a bit too expensive for me to take you and Mom at the same time, but I don’t care. I would not trade that travel moments with you and Mom for anything in this world. Mom and I are having so much fun seeing new things. I’m sure that you will enjoy to explore new places with us too. And I would buy you the things that you desire. So, no more asking of old stuff/clothes from your brother. You could own brand new ones… and maybe, branded items too!

I’m pretty sure you know that I have been sad and worried lately. My nights are spent praying and crying. I hope that everything will be ok for me. But I really wish you were here with me now. I really need someone whom I can draw strength from. And I completely know that you can be that “someone” because you have always given me strength when I’m at my weakest.

Okay, I won’t keep this long. I know you and Mama Lola are having a grand celebration there. Please kiss her for me and tell her that I miss having her around.

Happy birthday, Tatay! Mommy and I truly miss and love you.

 

Love,