My best Christmas gifts so far…

It’s way too obvious that I haven’t been updating my blog lately. I even asked a blogger friend to make me an entry so there would at least an update here. And to that guest blogger friend, thank you so much.

I really wanted to write/blog about a lot of things. I have been thinking of posting my grand Christmas wishlist. Well, it’s again comprised of those expensive gadgets and ladies accesories that I have been eyeing on for weeks-slash-months-slash-years now. But I opted to pass on that for now. I wasn’t able to write anything lately because I was way too busy with work and some other uber personal matters. Also, I have been kinda tired and scared of something (this is a new feeling for me) that I opted to just spend my extra time online at Facebook to at least shift my attention. Well, I have posted there some quick updates of what I am going through and most of my dearest friends have outpoured me with their love, support and prayers.

I guess, you are a bit confused now of what I am trying to tell here. Well, it about the lump on my neck. I first felt a small pearl-sized lump on my neck way back in 2000 (or I guess it was earlier). At first, I got confused what it was. But our company’s in-house nurse told me that it was just a lymph node. I didn’t pay much attention to it as it didn’t bother me a bit. But 3 weeks ago, I noticed it got bigger. It was too sudden that I woke up one morning with lump this big,

Did you get scared for me? Well, just imagine how scared I was when I first noticed it. I thought it could be something very serious and that it could harm me the way I never imagined. I didn’t feel any pain though. But the thought of having that thing inside my body really gave me the creeps. For the first few days (and up to now, from time to time), I cried the hardest thinking it could be the end for me. Yeah, I thought about the worst.

Things haven’t changed now. I still have the lump despite the 2-week medication my doctor prescribed me. I have undergone ultrasound and CT scan to check the real stand. I have the results with me but I have yet to seek medical interpretation from my doctor tomorrow.

These past 3 weeks have been hard for me. But as they say, life goes on. And I have a lot other things to be thankful for.

It’s just 4 days before Christmas. And just like anybody else, I have received several gifts from friends and colleagues. And as always, it touches my heart to know that there are a lot of people who cares for me and never fails to remember me during this time of year. And with this thing that I have been experiencing these past few weeks, I think I have received the best gifts I could ever get.

Just moments ago, I received this text message from a colleague:

Hi Winks. I heard mass with my family kanina. Wala lang, naalala kita. Hope you feel better and prayed na mawala na ang bukol mo para di na kayo magworry ng Mom mo. Ingat.

It was just a short message… but I really wanted to cry when I read it. I felt loved and cared for.

Some days back, I had this SMS conversation with my friend slash choirmate:

Winkie: In case my doctor would require me surgery, pwede mo ba akong samahan? I don’t think I could take my Mom with me to the hospital.

Friend: Oh sure. Sasamahan kita. I-text mo lang ako.

Winkie: Thanks ha! Natatakot lang kasi ako.

Friend: Wag kang matakot, Winks. Lakasan mo lang ang loob mo. Kaya mo yan… kaya natin yan!

It made me wanna cry, too, knowing that I have friends beside me… always!

And 2 nights back, during our department’s Christmas Party, I found this on my desk:

It was a Christmas gift for my boss. I noticed the card, my boss striked his name through and wrote my name instead. I went to him and asked, “Sir, para sa akin po ba ito?” He replied, “Oo, sa ‘yo na. Natapos ko nang basahin. Maganda sya, maraming kwento tungkol sa miracles. Basahin mo rin.” I just said, “Maraming salamat po, Sir.” But deep down inside, I was so touched for my boss’s gesture that I wanted to cry.

There are a lot other gifts I received. Those simple messages by friends via SMS, Facebook and email. Those encouraging words. Those show of concern and comfort. Those short phrases “I’m praying for you, Winks.” or “Kaya mo yan.” They all mean a lot to me. These are the things that make me strong now. These are my best Christmas gifts.

So, from the bottom of my heart… THANK YOU!