Rejection letter gets rejected!

Earlier today at work, one of our senior officers requested me to draft a pro-forma rejection letter for our clients. Not that I don’t know how to properly write a business letter, but it has always been a habit for me to check on the net for some updates before I do something. Well,I think that’s the right thing to do so I’d do every task more than expected.

And as I was browsing from one site to another, I came across something  at chaosmatrix.org. It was entitled “The Ultimate Rejection Letter”. When I started reading it, I instantly knew that it wasn’t the right sample I was looking for. The first paragraph alone made me smile so I continued to read on and ended up LMAO.

Here’s the “Ultimate Rejection Letter”: 

Herbert A. Millington

Chair – Search Committee

412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University

College Hill, MA  34109

 

Dear Professor Millington,

 

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

 

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

 

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

 

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

 

Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen

So, in any case you receive a rejection letter one of these days or in the future, try replying with something like this. LOL