Why I don’t post much lately?
I haven’t been posting anything lately. What could be the reason?
Am I too busy with work? I guess not. Because I always blog at night.
Nothing interesting to write? Maybe. My life has been pretty routinary these days and I think I’m kinda less of an observant on things around me so I can’t think of any topic. Minsan nga, nagwiwish ako nang may madapa sa harap ko para naman may ma-iblog ako! Ang sama ko talaga! Hehehe!
Busy with other things? Kinda. But with what? I will just keep that to myself for the meantime.
Feeling kinda gloomy and down lately? And the answer on this one is a big YES.
Yep, you read it right. I have been freaking sad for the past few days weeks. It’s about a lot of things, actually. Work. Home slash my mom. Heart matters. And a lot more other things. And whenever I’m having this kind of feeling, I normally shut myself out from things but still try to look and act as normal as possible (read: happy face and jolly dispositions) so other people wouldn’t get a clue of what I am feeling.
The online world was my only consolation these days. Although I haven’t been active posting some entries, I still try to visit the sites I frequent and leave marks as I usually do. I also go online on YM as I normally would but just sit invisible and hope for some friends to go online.
Some weeks back, I was online with a friend and we were on cam. I did not tell him what I was feeling then. I realized my eyes couldn’t hide my emotions when he said, “Why are you so sad? Please don’t be sad. Tell me what’s bothering you.” Still I didn’t tell him what was inside of my head and why I was feeling that way. That friend though tried to entertain me with some happy topics.
A couple of nights ago, I was online with another friend (oo noh, marami akong online friends!) and I kinda opened up what I was really feeling. Although it made me cry, I was so glad with that chat session as I was able to unload the things inside my heart. I was able to talk out what was really bothering me. And I was happy for that friend for making me feel better.
There are still a lot of things in my head right now, but I feel better than before. Anytime soon, I will be smile back again like this…