This Girl has Turned into a Woman

People who truly know the “real” me and those who saw me blossom into a full-fledged woman sometimes amaze me. They are the people I call “friends” (outside of the blog world, that is) who I think are a bit too stucked in the past. I feel they still see me as a teener who needs guidance and advice every step of the way. I feel that they still have this vision of me as a struggling young girl trying to make her way to the complicated world called life. Oh well, I couldn’t blame them because I was once that little girl and they were in fact the ones who walked me through the path of womanhood.

But now, after living a little over three decades, I think have already learned a lot of things. May it be professional or heart matters. Some in hard ways and some in fun ways. I know I have yet to learn a lot more things but hey, I have my share of adversities in the past that made me what I am today. And there are some friends who, I think, don’t seem to realize this.  They sometimes tend to pry too much or offer me a nudge even if I am not asking for it. It sometimes make me sick big time.  Or are they just being everly protective of me?

Sometime last week. I got to talk online with one of my closest male friends. He is a former colleague and stood as my confidante whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. The usual hi-and-hello chit-chat transpired into a more serious converstation. Oh well, it started with that I Am Engaged entry I posted some days back. My friend, who happens to be happy in coupledom, intially told me that he’d feel sad in case I get married. His statement indeed gave me confusion. All along, I thought he, together with others friends in our circle, have been wanting to hear me announce my goodbyes to singlehood. My friend had a hard time explaining his statement to me. And then finally said, “It just like when my youngest sister announced that she’s getting married, I kinda felt sad. So I will feel the same for you as well if and when you get married.”

Hmmm… that was one sweet reaction. Don’t you think?

I guess it’s a usual feeling a brother would have knowing that their little girl has already grown and decided on trying on a new life. Oh, I can’t wait for the time his daughter tells him the same  thing. I bet he’d not only faint. LOL!

That was just the part 1 of our converstation. We again met online last night and continued on with our topic. And this time, it was a bit more specific. He tried to ask more updates about my life… more particularly, my non-exsistent lovelife. Well, he knows a lot about my past. I have not kept anything from him (Yep, darkest secrets included!)  so I didn’t think twice on telling him some “personal” stuff that I am currently busy with now. And upon learning about a guy I am eyeing on, he started to act like an older brother giving advices to his little sister. I got a bit too offended because I didn’t ask for any advice that time as I thought just to get some heads up. I really felt he crossed the line when he started telling me things, giving me negative ideas about my mystery guy. And so my sungit nature again surfaced.

Last night’s online converstation went something like this (sorry I needed to edit as I dont want to mention names and discreetly re-write the foul words I told my friend in our conversation):

Friend: I hope he’s  nice.

Winkie: Oh yes, he is.

Friend: So, is he your BF now?

Winkie: Nope, we’re just friends.

Friend: Pero may terms of endearment?

Winkie: So?

Friend: Eh di kayo nga!

Winkie: Hindi nga. We are just friends who happen to know how we feel for each other. Please don’t make things too complicated.

Friend: So why can’t he be with you nga?

Winkie: As I said, he’s busy. He can’t leave work that easily and fly just to see me.

Friend: JUST? You term yourself as “just”???

Winkie: Haay, kulit! Sabi nang don’t make things too complicated eh!

Friend: Ok fine! Sorry for prying!

Winkie: You should be sorry. You pry too much that sometimes in hurts me na.

Friend: Too much ba ba? I just want to give you a nudge.

Winkie: Nudge? You think I need a nudge now? Trenta y Dos na ako. Alam ko naman na siguro ginagawa ko.

Friend: Well, sometimes you do need a nudge.

Winkie: I’m telling you, I dont need one now.  At excuse me,  hindi lang sometimes yang nudges nyo noh?! You guys always nudge me even if I don’t need it at all.

Winkie: Sometimes I feel that you dont want me to be happy.

Winkie: Because everytime I tell you I’m happy, you always throw me negative thoughts.

Winkie: I feel like you guys always pull me down when I’m at the peak of my happiness. I feel you dont want to see me happy.

Friend: Hindi naman sa ganon. What I was trying to say was, if this won’t work out then go find someone else and move on.

Winkie: But why don’t we give this one a chance? Let’s just wait and see.

Friend: Wait and see? Hanggang kelan???

Winkie: As long as it takes.

Friend: Lola ka na nun pag nagkataon.

Winkie: Eh let’s give this one a chance nga.

Winkie: Kung ganyan kayo ng ganyan eh p*****g ***, tatandang dalaga nga talaga ako.

Winkie: Is that what you want?

Friend: No. Sayang lang kasi yung time.

Winkie: Oh now, I get it. You, guys, are the ones who are pressured, NOT ME!

Winkie: Like those colleages who try to set me up with some random guys for date. They are the ones pressured, NOT ME!

Friend: Siguro nga. Kami ang nagmamadali.

Winkie: Bakit? Saan ba kayo pupunta at nagmamadali kayo?

Friend: Ewan ko sayo, ang gulo mo!

Winkie: Ewan ko sa nyo, kayo ang magulo!!!

Winkie: Napipikon lang ako sayo kasi you are saying negative things or doubts about this guy you barely know. Eh kami yung araw-araw na magkausap.

Friend: You have a point there. Di ko sya kilala.

Winkie: Precisely the point!

It was really a very long conversation. While talking to him, I browsed my YM archive. I found this and pasted in our IM window:

Mystery Guy: Hi darling!

Winkie: Hi baby! How are you?

Mystery Guy: Am good. And you?

Winkie: Am good too.

Mystery Guy: You know I said prayers for your dad yesterday.

Mystery Guy: It was on my own though.

Mystery Guy: I wasnt able to drop by the church.

Mystery Guy: Hope that counts.

Winkie: Oh thanks, Babe. That’s sweet!

Winkie: Of course, it counts.

Winkie: I went to my dad’s tomb yesterday as promised and offered flowers.

Winkie: Yellow ones. I told him they are from you.

Mystery Guy: Thanks baby.

Upon reading that old IM conversation between me and my mystery guy, my friend IM-ed me back.

Friend: Ok fine, I get the point!

Winkie: Mabuti naman!

As always, we ended with a happy note.

So, what’s my purpose of sharing this? Wala lang, naglalabas lang ng sama ng loob. Well, as the title suggests, I just hope that my friend(s) will no longer treat me as the little girl he/they once knew. And that he/they realize I have already grown into a smart-a** woman! LOL!